Trusting Fully

   One of the most important lessons that I have learned here in Uganda, it is to trust the Lord with everything that I am. I wish I could say that my entire life before coming here has prepared me for this lesson, but it hasn't. Not to say that I haven't trusted God before coming to Africa, but being here is a whole different ball game. Sometimes I feel a little crazy when I'm on my way home from the slums and praying quietly to myself asking God to let the power be on when I get home in hopes that I will be able to cook my supper and get some work done on my computer. I need to trust God when I go to the internet cafe and make sure the internet is working on that particular day. I need to trust that it won't rain so that my overwhelming amounts of dirty laundry can dry on the clothesline after I wash in a bucket for three hours out of my day. I need to trust that the boys are taken care of, and that someone will provide food for them when I'm not around that day. The list goes on. I have to trust in such a different way than I ever had to in the States. It's times like these when the world seems so big. Just a 24 hour plane ride away from the place that I used to call home, everything is so different; tradition, culture, religion, trust. Everyday is a new day- unexpected, somehow difficult, a new experience, another lesson learned, a new phrase of the language memorized, one more friend in the slums made, witnessing something beautiful.

   Life here is full of trust. It has to be. And I think it's exciting! I know that I can't make it through the day without spending some time in my Bible. It's incredibly difficult to filter through the sermons and theology taught here if I am not spending time reading a good book about Christianity. Living here has taught me something that was harder to grasp while I lived in the States; it's completely, fully, and absolutely NOT about me! Without Him, I can't even be here. And it is wonderful! It is relieving to know that He doesn't even expect me to be here and do it all on my own. He never intended for me to be in Africa trying to figure it out alone. He knows that I make mistakes, he's knows I'm not (and never will be) prefect, and he knows that I'm too weak and sinful to be here on my own. While this might sound depressing and discouraging, it's the best news any one could ever hear, because it doesn't end there. God was here before me, he is working before me, he chose me for this work, and I trust that His power will be made perfect in my weakness; His grace is sufficient (2 Cor 12:5).

   The other day I was on a boda boda (motorcycle taxi) on my way into town and a man on the side of the road yelled out to me, “Mzungu (white folk)! You're good!”. It got me thinking. Am I good? This man doesn't know me. I could be a serial killer, a robber, a drug lord, a streaker, or I could have just gotten out of prison for urinating in public (which is actually not an illegal offense here in Uganda, and is part of everyday life to see someone taking care of business on the side of the road as you walk by). Okay, I realize I got a little crazy on that last bit, but my point is, that man had, and still has, no idea who I am. Truth is, I'm capable of being the worlds most dangerous killer that will show up on tonight's showing of Uganda's Most Wanted, or I could be the most notorious streaker in all the major cities combined, yet he still yelled to me that I'm good. I realize that he probably had other motives for yelling that to me, but it still got me thinking. I want people to see me and yell something different. Though I don't encourage anyone to yell “Mzungu” at me (it gets old after a while), I want someone to yell at me, “Mzungu! I see how God is using you in Uganda. And God is good through you! Rejoice that God chose you!” I'm probably dreaming to big to think that this would even be said to me as I pass by on a boda boda, but I think you get what I'm saying. It's just nice to know that He doesn't expect perfection from me, He doesn't expect me to save the world. It's not my job. My job is to follow His Word, and trust Him. His power is made perfect in my weakness, not my strength. What a great reminder! Praise the Lord! Mukama Ye Bazibwe!